my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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