People in love make me want to vomit
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
