im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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