there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
