I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's always time for handjobs
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
