none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
