When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
