Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
