ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
