I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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