Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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