Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
