it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
