am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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