I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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