had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
