U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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