just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
