i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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