I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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