I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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