Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
