You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
