There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize
