Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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