I think my fart just growled at me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my being single is dangerous.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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