Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize