So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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