i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
