Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
