I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
