Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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