I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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