i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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