we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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