lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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