dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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