shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
