Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
