Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize