please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
