dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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