The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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