We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
