yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
