This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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