I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
