Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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