Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
