I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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