Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
