you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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