i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
