what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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