I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize