Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm really busy with my period
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