I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Randomize
