I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
