stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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