its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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