did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will pee on everything he values.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
