You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
