Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
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