I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
