Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
