Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
