The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
